Dear Mom with Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Dear Mom with Hyperemesis Gravidarum,

Congrats! You are going to have a baby! That is exciting! You better hang on to that exciting piece of news, because for most of us with HG it is the only highlight of the pregnancy.

You are about to endure the longest 40 weeks of your life (if you make it that far). You will be tired, malnourished, dizzy, achy, constipated (thanks to the love-hate relationship with Zofran), and sicker than you have ever been or ever will be in your entire life. You will reach a point when you think that you cannot make it any longer. You will reach a point when you want to quit. You will reach a point when you simply cannot be strong anymore.

You will look at other pregnant women with a deep jealousy. I know I would have loved to have just been hot, tired, sore and swollen.  

You will hear survivors say, "Once you hold that baby in your arms, you forget all the pain and suffering of the last nine months!" And they mean it. And you will want to punch them.

You will encounter people who do not understand.

"She is faking it. No one gets THAT sick when you are pregnant." (I don't care who you are, you can't fake being so sick that you need to be hospitalized.)

"Oh it's normal! It will pass!" (Sorry, but there is nothing normal about throwing up blood and Hulk-green stomach acid 20+ times a day.)

"Can't you just TRY to get better? Like, really try. I don't think you are trying hard enough. Just WILL yourself to get better."

"It's all in your head." (My husband said this to me once during my first pregnancy in an attempt to comfort me when we had to pull over so I could puke on a tree because we were all out of barf bags... Let's just say he never said it again.) 

You will encounter one of "those" people. You know the ones.

 "Have you tried crackers? What about ginger? What about those sickness bands? Did you rub the ginger on your belly? Did you rub it on your toes? Did you try eating every two hours?" (I can't tell you how many times I threw up crackers, peppermint, ginger, etc. If it really worked I would not have needed a PICC line. And honestly, the best natural remedy for HG is giving birth!)

You'll meet a lot of people like that. Be kind. They do not understand and they have every intention of trying to help. HG is not something you fully understand until you have been through it yourself. My mom and all five of her sisters suffered mild to near death cases of HG and even though I watched it all I never fully understood what they went through until I was the one in the hospital bed while three different nurses tried to put an IV in me. 

You will dream about all the fatty foods you can get your hands on. You will dream about drinking buckets and buckets of water and wake up crying because you're throwing up before you even fully sit up. You'll long to be "normal." You will give anything just to feel well enough to go outside to get the mail. You'll miss your old self.

You will reach a point when you wonder if it is worth it.

I asked for some REAL responses from women who have been in your shoes. These amazing survivors come from all walks of life. They know what it is like to feel alone. They know what it is like to feel so helpless.

They know the stress of dealing with clueless doctors, mean nurses, unsupportive family and friends, worrying about your other children that need you, tracking fluid intake and output, vitamins, ER visits, hospital stays, hospital bills, IVs, PICC lines, feeding tubes, pumps, calorie counting, weight loss, and the impact HG has on your personal relationships.

I asked these moms if there was anything they wish they could go back and tell themselves when they were sick with HG. These are just a few of the amazing responses! 

Dear Mom with HG,

"Don't forget your significant other. It's hard on him too. You can't forget that he also has emotional needs.  Sometimes he will need to cry or complain or just vent. And even though you feel like death, you need to show him that he is still important to you. When you feel this sick it is hard to show any sympathy to anyone else. HG is not worth fighting over. It's hard enough as it is. Don't let it ruin your relationships too."

"Don't be afraid to ask for help or to admit you need help. Asking for help is a sign of STRENGTH, not a sign of weakness."

"You are a lot more likely to get help when you remain pleasant and not bitter. Don't wait so long to ask for help that you are already bitter about the situation."

"It DOES end. I know you feel like it never will and that nine months is just too long. But it WILL end. It is worth making it to the end. Wring your heart out. Stay strong. The little person inside you will grow up to become someone amazing and every time you look at him/her you will know true strength."

"These nine months are only a small fraction of your parenting journey. You have many wonderful adventures ahead. It is worth it. Try to look at it from an eternal perspective." 

"Try (we know it's hard) to not be so angry when people say ignorant things. They don't know what you are facing. Keep the people who support you close."

"There are a lot of "ups" (example: finally having a bowel movement after two weeks, holding down 1/4 of a milkshake, gaining a pound or two) and there are a lot of "downs" (more downs than anything. I'm sure you don't need an example). But the biggest "up" will come in the form of a precious baby."

"The toughest challenges in life are worth the most."

"Don't worry about vitamins and what you should try to eat. You have HG. Just eat what you can whenever you can." 

"Don't be stubborn. Go to the hospital when you need to. Even if you just THINK you might need an IV. It's better to go and get it than to let yourself suffer more." (When I read this one my husband gave me the "I told you so" look.)

"Push for better treatment. Be an advocate for yourself. Switch doctors if you need to. This is your life and your baby's life. You need the best treatment you can get." (For advice or help finding a better doctor in your area, visit helpher.org) 

"Don't be afraid to 'fire' bad nurses. If they aren't treating you well or aren't washing their hands or something. You need to remember that YOU are paying THEM to help you. You have every right to ask for a different nurse. Don't let them intimidate you." (This one came from my dear mother, who suffered HG FIVE times. She is my hero.)

"Invest in paper/plastic plates, bowls, cups, etc. It will save your energy from doing dishes and you wont have to deal with a smelly sink."

"It is normal for someone with HG to feel guilty. And I think I felt too much guilt. I don't know if I have any advice for that because I don't think you can prevent it. But know that it is not your fault."

"Don't lie to yourself or to your doctor about how awful you feel." 

"You may not be able to feel it or visualize it, but one day you will be happy again. I used to hate hearing people say it will be worth it... But it truly is."

"You will feel guilty asking for help, especially with your other children. You may feel like a bad mother for not being able to do normal mommy things or cook and clean. But as an HG child myself, I watched my mom suffer with HG four times after me and I hardly remember it. I remember bits and pieces but it didn't have such a big impact on my life. It didn't shake our relationship or scar me. I knew she loved me. And I understood that when my sibling came that she would get better again." 

(This last one is my favorite.)

"This suffering is terrible, but it will utterly change who you are and how you respond to others' suffering. It will help you understand why Christ carried that cross. Hang in there. You can do this."

No one knows the cause of Hyperemesis Gravidarum. There is no cure (except delivery... and that first meal after delivering is pure heaven!) Please know that you are not alone. There are women and doctors who understand. It WILL end. It is nine months of pure agony for a life time of joy. And I promise you that you will not regret one second that you spend hunched over the toilet seat with a towel at your knees, just in case you puke so hard that you can't control your bladder.  Good luck, Momma!

(If you think you might be suffering from HG, you can visit helpher.org to look up symptoms and get help with treatment.)

Bedtime Routine: What I wish I had done

Happy Furlong Friday!!

When I had my oldest son, as I have mentioned, I had severe PPD. And as a new mom I had no idea how to get my new baby on a schedule, let alone myself. Pumping around the clock made my burst of energy to do anything but sleep few and far between. But I was obsessed with giving my son a bath every day. I had what is known as postpartum OCD. If I didn't give him a bath I would become irrationally angry, have anxiety attacks, and be very moody. I feel so bad for my husband at this point in our lives because I was not myself.

Anyway, I HAD to give Andrew a bath. Even a spounge bath. (And no, he never had any dry skin, cradle cap or eczema as a result of this.) But the problem was that I would give him a bath at 10AM one day, 3PM the next day, 7PM the next day, 1PM the next day... It was all over the place because I just did it whenever I worked up enough energy to get out of bed. And because of that he would sleep during the day and then be up all night. 

It wasn't until I started to recover from PPD that I started to give him a bath at the same time every day before bedtime, and it made all the difference once we got that routine down. 

Bath 

Lavender lotion

Swaddle

Bottle/singing 

Bed

Every. Single. Night. At the exact same time. In that exact order. He started sleeping longer periods at night and was sleeping completely through the night by 6 months (No "crying it out" at all. I'll explain how I did that in another post.) 

So when I had my second son, I started that exact routine with him the very day he came home from the hospital. I did it right along with Andrew's routine. First I'd give Andrew his bath, then let him watch a movie while I washed Benjamin. Then I would swaddle and nurse Ben while reading a book to Drew and singing to them both. Then they both went down to sleep by 8:30PM and that gave me 3-4 hours to clean up the house, spend some time with Tyler or get some seriously needed rest before Benjamin would wake up for his next feeding. 

Benjamin eased right into this routine perfectly and has never had a problem with Bedtime. They are two and one year old now and we still do this routine, only now they bathe together. 

We brush teeth. 

We say family prayer (Drew usually prays and he is SO thankful for firetrucks and footballs). 

We read "Goodnight Moon" together. 

We sing "Billy Boy" while I tuck them in. 

We give kisses and then it is lights out. And they don't wake up until 8AM. I do check on them once or twice before I go to sleep myself. 

(A big thank you to Tyler, for snapping these pictures for me!) 

I know every child is different, and you'll need to adjust your schedule to your own needs. I also know that some kids just don't require a lot of sleep! But thankfully my boys are pretty easy when it comes to that! 

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to follow us on Facebook!! 😘✌️ 

Homemade Pizza

Happy Friday!

Today im going to leave you with my favorite homemade pizza recipe while I deep clean my house for my son's birthday party! (Details on that next week!)

Whole Wheat Pizza: 

2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup warm water

1 packet of yeast 

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 tablespoon sugar 

Dissolve yeast packet into the cup of water in a mixing bowl. Sprinkle in the sugar. Let it rise 5-7 minutes. 

Mix in the flour, salt, and olive oil. Knead dough by hand or with a dough hook for about five minutes. Place in an oiled or buttered bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Put it in a warm spot and let it rise for an hour. 

At this point you should start your homemade pizza sauce. Or you could just buy some. But I like our homemade sauce. 

1 can tomato sauce 

Seasonings

1 tablespoon flour

Pour tomato sauce into a sauce pan and turn the heat on the lowest setting. Next, add in your seasonings. The longer they sit the better it tastes. I throw in some garlic power, salt, parsley and Italian seasoning to taste. Add the flour and give it a good stir.

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.

Once an hour has passed, knead the dough for a minute and then roll it out onto a pizza pan or even a cookie sheet. (Don't forget non-stick cooking spray)  Add your sauce and toppings. We love fresh mozzarella and pepperoni. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until golden brown. 

Enjoy! 

Four Things

I am not a perfect mom. Especially when I had postpartum depression, I was not at all the mom I wanted to be. Just feeding, changing and entertaining Andrew would wear me out and exhaust me. (That is why I don't frown on moms who let their kids watch TV. I remember being so depressed and exhausted and Winnie the Pooh saved my sanity. You never know their situation.)  I felt so stuck and I wanted to do something to change it.

I came up with four simple things that I wanted to do with my children every single day no matter what. No matter how busy, crazy, stressed or tired I am, I would try to do these things as long as my situation permitted it. I'm not perfect at it at all but I'm trying REALLY hard to stick to doing these four things at least once a day. 

#1- Get them to laugh. My boys are pretty happy kids so it's not a big challenge but I try to make sure that I can keep them smiling. I do something to make them laugh or tickle them. Yesterday I was putting away groceries and Andrew started tossing the grocery bags around and it made Ben laugh. I pulled out a few more and we made it rain grocery bags in the kitchen and we laughed and laughed. I try to have at least one, if not more of these moments every day. 

#2- Sing! One of my favorite movies is Sarah Plain and Tall. In that movie, Caleb wants a mother to sing to him. That really stuck with me and I promised when I became a mom that I would sing. I want my boys to remember my voice. I want to teach them to sing. And it is working. Drew will sing our special lullaby "Billy Boy." He loves to sing "Beside the Seaside" and "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam." And it is the cutest thing ever to hear him belt out "Happy Birthday" at birthday parties. In church he will sit with the hymn book in his lap and he sings nonsense words and looks around so seriously at everyone else singing. I hope Benjamin likes to sing as much as Drew. Right now he just likes to listen. 

#3- Read! Anyone who knows me will tell you just how much I love books. I'm a book hoarder. I try so hard to read at least once a day to my boys. I have read to them on long drives to the zoo and I have read to them while they are playing outside. But 90% of the time my boys are pretty content to just sit and read with me. 

#4- Look them in the eyes and say, "I love you." 

This is the most important thing I think any parent can do. And it is the easiest one for me to do. I give them hugs and kisses all the time and tell them multiple times a day. I never want a day to pass that I don't tell them I love them. Because knowing you are loved is the greatest feeling in this world. It is something people crave. It is something we as humans NEED. I never want my boys to feel unloved. Because no matter how broken or scrambled I felt, my love for these boys will never change. I want them to remember that. 

There are other things in my house that are a priority too. But for me, these were the most simple things I could do to make my self a little better mother every day as I was recovering from PPD, and they just happened to stick with me long after. I think I'm going to make a craft inspired by my four things. If I do I'll be sure to share it. 

Have a good weekend!! Don't forget to follow us on facebook and Instagram @7talesofmotherhood and my personal Instagram @diariesofasupermom! 

Zofran Baby

I am writing this in light of the recent articles and commercials about taking Zofran to control morning sickness during pregnancy. I am not a doctor. But I honestly feel this needs to be addressed, especially for those of us who had Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

A little background: I am a "Zofran baby." My mother took Zofran her entire pregnancy with me, as well as my four siblings. 

Twenty four of my cousins are also "Zofran babies." 

My own two boys are "Zofran babies." 

Not one single birth defect. Not one. And it wasn't just a take-once-a-day-to-get-through-the-first-trimester kind of deal. It was 8mg three times a day and once at night for 39 weeks. For two months I received it through a PICC line. I even had it in my IV the day I delivered my sons. 

I have also been interviewing and talking to multiple mothers all over the world who have taken Zofran their entire pregnancies. I have yet to meet a Zofran baby with a birth defect. 

But that is just my personal experience. I'm not saying that it is not possible. There is a risk taking any medication, especially when pregnant. What frustrates me the most about this is that it is scaring moms from taking it. Moms that actually need it.

 I recently was apart of a Facebook discussion where this subject was brought up. A mother was getting more and more dehydrated but was terrified to take the Zofran because of what she had heard. I stood up for Zofran and was called selfish for not "sucking it up" and "powering through" my Hyperemesis. That I was selfish for having a medicated pregnancy and that there were "other options." 

First, to the mother who told me to "suck it up" I hope with all of my heart you never have to experience anything like HG. I also hope that you will do some research on HG before you tell an HG mom to power through it. Because yes, I would rather take the Zofran risks over losing my baby any day. With HG, the risks of not taking it are SO much worse than what Zofran can do. At 10 weeks pregnant I was so malnourished that my baby stopped growing. The Zofran didn't stop the puking. None of the things I tried stopped it. But it was the ONLY thing that slowed it down. 

HG is so bad that 1 in 8 moms with HG choose abortion to end their suffering. Yet those of us who chose Zofran to help control it have healthy and happy children.

The following list was taken directly from the HelpHER facebook page. 

To the mom who is seriously suffering but afraid to take zofran, relax. Do what is best for you. 

You are not a bad mom for taking Zofran. 

One of my dear friends and fellow HG survivor had a zofran pump. This is actually a really common treatment in severe HG cases. She said, 

"I was on Zofran from 15 weeks to 30 weeks receiving a dose of it HOURLY. Zofran saved my life. If I didn't receive my Zofran pump at 15 weeks I don't think myself or my daughter would be here right now. And IF I do decide to have another child I will be put on to Zofran again." 

Another HG mom shared her thoughts on it with me. 

"Oftentimes people whose child has a birth defect look for something to blame. That is human nature and it is somewhat understandable. And then there are those people who are sue happy and money hungry.

Don't take medical advise from a lawsuit. If this was 1920 most women with HG would be dead. People who have not experienced HG cannot fully understand the seriousness of it and the importance of trying to survive it." 

Again, I  am not a doctor. But I am tired of women who think they know it all because they read an article about it on Facebook and then tell those of us who depend on Zofran that we are selfish. Do some real research. Don't limit it to just one "study" or lawsuit. Talk to your doctor. If you feel you can power through it or don't feel comfortable taking it and think other things might help, by all means, please do! But please think about what you're saying when you're talking to a mom who is taking it or who took it. 

We are living  proof that Zofran helps. 

We are Zofran babies. 

Don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @7talesofmotherhood and my personal instagram @diariesofasupermom! 

  

Bow Tie Stand Craft

Happy Friday!!!

As you know, I am a mom of boys. My favorite day of the week is Sunday when I get to dress up my little boys for church, and bow ties are our favorite staple for our church outfits! 

Today I am doing a tutorial on how to make your own bow tie holder. 

Easter is coming up, and I have yet to meet a little guy who doesn't look adorable in a bow tie!

We get all of our bow ties from a cute Etsy shop called Molli and Bean. They have a great selection and their bow ties are very sturdy, stay on well and hold their shape. Perfect for little boys! 

After doing some serious thinking and messing around on Pinterest, I found this super cute and easy craft as a way to not only keep the bow ties nice and organized, but to display them so nicely.

These are the materials you will need. 

•A candle holder (I got mine from my local dollar store) 

•A small container of oatmeal 

• black paint and paint brush 

• hot glue gun or super glue

First, paint your EMPTY oatmeal container completely black. You can actually do whatever color you want, but I think black makes the colors stand out.  I do two coats just to be safe. 

Be sure to pain the top and bottom as well. 

Then hot glue or super glue your candle holder to the bottom and let it dry. 

Then you're finished!!! 

Easy peasy! 

All of the new Molli and Bean bow ties have new straps like this red one, which makes it a lot easier to put them on your child, and this bow tie stand. Be sure to follow them on Instagram @molliandbean for monthly giveaways! 

Strap on your bow ties and you are good to go! 

Also, don't forget to follow 7 Tales of Motherhood on Facebook and Instagram @7talesofmotherhood! And my personal page @diariesofasupermom! See you next Friday!!! 

We Are Good Moms

"You see a mother with her child, and often don't know of the pain she endured. You do not see the physical and emotional challenges. You do not see the soul-stretching job she works every single second of her life. You don't see all her smiles, tears, struggles or fears. You just see her love." -Unknown

We are good moms.

We are survivors. 

We are miracles. 

We are strong. 

We make choices based on our own unique and personal situations. 

We have taken on an incredible responsibility. 

We have put our hearts into everything we do for our children. 

We are brave. 

We have suffered losses and heartbreaks beyond all description. 

(One in heaven, one in my arms, one in my belly.) 

We have over come our trials. 

We are fighting through our struggles. 

We have a divine intuition to know what our families need.

We are all different. We have different beliefs. Different backgrounds, different trials, and different situations.

What is best for us, may not be best for everyone. 

But that does not mean we are not good moms. 

That does not give us the right to belittle other parenting styles. 

We can still support each other, despite our different choices.

We all want healthy and happy children. 

We are all doing our best. 

And no one should make us feel otherwise. 

Because we know our children and ourselves better than anyone. 

The choices we make and the trails we face are ours. It is not up to well-meaning friends and family. It is not up to strangers who only see a glimpse of our situation, and it is not up to articles on the Internet. It is up to us. 

We are good moms.