He is growing so fast. Literally. Two months old and almost 14 pounds. I love his chunky face and thunder thighs. He is learning to touch and feel things. He enjoys petting Abbie, putting his hand under warm running water and a small bowl of sugar.
My PPD case has been getting much better. I still have a lot I need to work through, but I no longer feel like I'm drowning. I found a book that has helped immensely!
My local library recently had a book sale with some awesome sales. One of the books I picked up is called, "I am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. It's a book I wanted to read long before I ever became a mother but I never had a chance to pick it up. So when I saw this copy for only a dollar, I wasn't going to complain.
On my very first day of Jr. High I remember they had us write down what we wanted to be when we grew up, and then a teacher or councelor would help you set up a plan to take all the right classes to help you down the path of your career. I remember sitting with Mr. H (or "Runt" as my mom called him... After the pig from Chicken Little), and telling him I wanted to be a mom. He smiled so sweetly and kindly but firmly said, "That is a good possibility for you, but you might want to pick something that will bring an income to your family." In other words, being a mother wasn't going to cut it and I needed to pick a "real career."
This hurt me a little. Sure, I understand having working skills is important for situations like mine where I am required to work in order for my family to survive. Or what if I never married? What if I could not have children? I held being a wife and a mother as the highest honor. I always envisioned myself with several children and a loving husband. I felt as if they thought "I wanna be a mommy" answer was cute, but not going to get me anywhere.
I finally told Runt my "real answer" was I wanted to be a journalist. And so my writing and English classes became the center of my schooling. At least it was something I enjoyed. But deep down I knew it would never satisfy me the way being a wife and mother could. Why didnt the world honor motherhood the way I did?
In the forward of "I am a Mother," written by Sheri Dew, she makes the bold declaration that Satan has declared war on motherhood. "He knows those who rock the cradle have the power to rock this earthly empire. And he knows without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail." How true these words are!!! How many times do you hear wonderful and amazing women say, "Oh, I'm just a mom." JUST a mom??
Oprah once said, "I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. To create an environment that's stimulating and nurturing, to pass on a sense of responsibility to another human being, to raise a child who understands that he or she is created from good and is capable of anything- I know for sure few callings are more honourable. To play down mothering as 'small' is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands.
The world can only value mothering to the extent that women everywhere stand and declare that it must be so! In our hands we have the power to transform the perception of motherhood... We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom.' It is on her back that nations are built."
Next time someone asks me what I do I will proudly say, "I am a Mother...and then I am a part-time teller." Because being Tug's mom is the most important, and number one job in the world to me. And I always want him to know that.
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