Baby blues work out

This morning Tug was full of smiles. And so was I. Which is a good sign. With PPD it can be hard to smile at all. But it's Friday! I have a happy baby boy, an amazing husband and I'm surrounded by wonderful people! I think that's the hardest part about PPD. You have such a great life. You have every reason to be happy and yet it hurts to even pretend to smile. It made me feel like I was a horrible person for not being happy.

Tyler and I had high hopes that returning to work would help with the depression. Getting out and away for a bit, talking to people and smiling like a good teller should. But if anything it made it worse.

Now that I'm on medication, we are doing other things to try to boost my spirits and one of those things is running. Both Tyler and I ran cross country in high school and its something we both enjoy to do together. We are a team. I love running with my best friend. I love him more than life itself.

Running is one of the best ways to help me feel better. Not only am I working out my frustrations, sadness and fears, I'm working out (literally) to help myself feel good about myself. Because, lets face it, it's hard to feel pretty after having a baby. My mom described it to me as feeling like a Doctor Seuss character. And she was exactly right. Even though I've lost all the baby weight, plus some, I still struggle. But running a few miles every week and training for my summer races helps me to feel so much better about myself and helps me to be more positive. Because every mile that I run I'm working out a better me. A happier, healthier me! I am so thankful that I have the ability to run. A healthy way to clear my head.

And since today is Friday, it's running night. I'm so ready to work out my weekly frustrations and prepare for our big weekend coming up. We have two baptisms and Tug is being blessed on Sunday!